Now what?

Ugh...Ick...I said horrible things to Carlo last night.
I don't know how to do this. Since the beginning of our relationship it's been like this. I freak out about once a month. I just don't know how to devote my life to the spiritual journey that I feel called to and at the same time live with my beloved goof of a boyfriend Carlo who doesn't believe in a higher power at all. I feel like I can't talk to him about the things that are real to me, that are most influential to me, that are most precious to me.
I cannot deny that I am so jealous of couples that are involved in what they know is a spiritual partnership. I want that. I want a partnership that inspires both people involved to be better humans, to create a better planet. I want to talk about BIG yummy topics like 'grace', and 'Love' with the man I'm in a relationship with. Carlo is not exactly touchy-feely. He's a 31-year-old man that loves football and comic books and I just feel like I can't relate to him in a way that feels meaningful to me. There are levels of intimate soul connection that he doesn't even believe exist.

I have tried telling myself that I'm selfish and I need to get over it. But it keeps coming up. Over and over,  I cry and try to explain to Carlo what I yearn for. But he doesn't get it and he doesn't want to. He's completely uninterested in the things that make me get up each morning. He's closed to the ideas and the concepts that make me the most fulfilled and inspired.
I love Carlo. I'd rather not lose him. But I don't know how to BE who I am and at the same time be in a relationship with who he is.
Divine Mother, help me.   
 

Comments

[Natasha]

My best friend is an Atheist, which I don't have a problem with (I really don't). I respect him and his beliefs. But it kills me when I want to call him up and talk to him about my faith and how kick-ass God is to me. I find that I can't talk to him about those things, because in the back of my mind I know that he thinks it's bullshit.

I just wanted to give you a shout out, and let you know that I know what you're going through and I'm praying for ya!