I'm Still Hungry

This calms me...

You may find it disturbing, but knowing that the first pregnant dude is going on Oprah this week makes me hopeful about mankind.
If men can get pregnant, then;
A. I don't have to. SO totally not appealing to me.
B. Let men know how it feels to have hormones take complete power over one's sanity.

Jesus is the Reason for the Season

I really don't know what that means.

But I had to show a picture of me and Jesus, my 2-year-old chihuahua, (pronounced HAY-SEUSS...it's Spanish for Jesus).
He really is my savior.

Go ahead - laugh.

Oprah Winfrey is dedicating her Friday talk show to her cocker spaniel Sophie, who suddenly dropped dead of kidney failure at the age of 13.

"Sophie gave me 13 years of unconditional love. She was a true love in my life," Winfrey says on the show.

Smartie and hottie Lisa Ling delivers an investigation on puppy mills — a segment Winfrey says is a must-see "for anybody anywhere who loves a dog, has ever loved a dog or just cares about their basic right to humane
treatment."

Winfrey — whose three current dogs are adopted — says she plans to adopt from an animal shelter in the future after seeing the segment.

"I would never, ever adopt another pet now without going to a shelter to do it," she says. "I am a changed woman after seeing this show."

I love Oprah. I love that she loves her babies as much as I love my baby boy. Go ahead - make fun.  We animal-freaks don't care.

Rikki lives and....rapes

Rikki Rockett, drummer for Poison, and another who is surprisingly alive, was arrested on rape charges for an incident that occurred in September at the Silver Star Casino in Mississippi. Rikki is out of jail and awaiting a district attorney's decision to see if the case will go before a grand jury.
Ouch. I bet Brett Michaels' extremely successful reality show must've been a hard pill for Rikki to swallow.
Rikki in his glory days.

Kim's ass...uh...I mean...what?

Kim told Larry King she finds Playboy, and I quote, "Inspirational". End quote.
Kim was super-perky and ready for her awkward discussion about her nudity with the surprisingly alive Larry. This time Larry brought up the topic of her nude shoot for the mag. Kim said some other stuff about something or rather, I dunno. I was too busy staring at her ass on the video of her getting ready for the shoot.
I'm pretty sure Kim's ass could create world peace.

Boo-boo for bimbo

Paris Hilton busted up her chin over the weekend as she was enjoying Prague. She was fleeing the paparazzi when she tripped over a step and landed face first into the ground. Being the heroic knight that he is, Paris' oh-so temporary boyfriend Benji Madden failed to help Paris to her feet and instead simply stepped around her. Although after realizing she was actually bleeding from her face, he did eventually turn back around to help her. Which I guess is actually pretty impressive, because if I saw Paris Hilton lying face first on the floor I'm pretty sure my first instinct would be to laugh...hard. Well that, or bring both my hands to my face in shock that she wasn't naked and covered in used condoms.

itty-bitty-eensy-weensy

Lindsay gets a job the old fashioned way.

Lindsay Lohan has landed a new movie role in which she plays a rich pill-poppin' wannabe bad girl with a taste for dangerous men.

SHOCKER.

Lohan has been cast to play Nancy Pitman, one of the followers of serial killer Charles Manson, in a new flick called "Manson Girls."

"Yes, I am doing it with Lindsay," the film's director, Brad Wyman, confirmed to E! Online.

Yeah, we're sure you are Mr. Wyman.

Caloric intake f*cks with brain power.

"I will be the first to tell you every single person in this cast is awful at math," the beauty laughed to the Daily News at a Cinema Society screening of the gambling movie. "Jim [Sturgess] clearly had to know more math for his scenes. But no, I could never count cards," she emphatically stated.
I'm pretty sure living on wheat grass shots and gum has to take its toll on Kate's ability to think. Perhaps a cheese burger might bring back her aid in her math skills.

This oughtta be good...

The Bush administration Monday proposed the most far-ranging overhaul of the financial regulatory system since the stock market crash of 1929 and the ensuing Great Depression.

Although I'm sure that throughout his proposal he denied the fact that there is any recession at all.

The plan would change how the government regulates thousands of businesses from the nation's biggest banks and investment houses down to the local insurance agent and mortgage broker.

George W. Butthole has exactly .5 ounce of brainpower. The man cannot count past 20. Let's take a stab at what his new economic "overhaul" would include;

1. "We'll just tell the U.S. Mint to make more 2 dollar bills. I like those. That should help."
2. "Banks will give out coupons for Bud Light....or Miller Lite. I like my fellow Americans to have choices."
3. "I'd like for the economy to be very stimulated. Very stimulated. Let's arouse each other and make sure this recession comes quickly to a big finish."