I'm Still Hungry

Big Yummy Totally Necessary Johnny Break

Like a cool breeze, on a summer's day.

I suck at my job.

 

I suck at my job. My job sucks ass. I promised myself I would never, ever do something I hated, and I've been doing it for months now. But NYC is pricey as shit and the yoga-teaching world is very competative. And I've never sucked at something that I do all day long before. but I just don't wanna sell shit. Even if it's yoga. I'll teach it, schedule it, write about it, talk about it, practice it, display it, even draw pictures of it but I don't wanna sell it. God help me.

Chihuahua Crotch

Srsly Paris? As if I didn't think you were a greasy whore already, now you put an innocent baby chihuahua in your crotch and take a picture for Guess jeans? Eeeww...

Look at the poor baby. He's closing his eyes so as not to catch anything....

Oohh...Lindsay....

 Dear Lindsay,

It's impossible to hate you Lindsay, because you are such a goddamned mess. SweetHeart, really, could you at least, like, eat? Or at least cover your skinny self up? The faux lesbian thing was super-cute and I was happy that you were happy. And eating. Srsly. Your mom is such a leach and you just need some help. Please go live with Dr. Drew. I swear he'll take you in. He makes everything better. Did you hear that he tweeted me? I mean...it's no big deal...whatever.

 

Love, Paula

Twitter Rules

 

Ever since FaceBook changed itself and went all wacky, I've been following my fave celebs on Twitter. Everyone knows Ashton Kutcher rules the shit, but many other people shoot out their wisdom and whereabouts in 140 characters or less. Including my fave - Dr. Drew. And today he wrote back to me after the 47th time I tweeted him directly about my undying love.

Here's his tweet, quoted word for word:

thank you Paula

Awesome.